Hey, Reader!

Today's newsletter was prompted by a memory I had recently and a reminder as I'm in the thick of building some pretty big things with Katalyst and once again confronting some mindset stuff. Sharing because I think some reflections here could be valuable to you.
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I was in Guanacaste, Costa Rica, at one of our Katalyst Fill Your Cup retreats with Katalyst members and friends a few years ago.

The night was winding down… most of our attendees were winding down too. I decided to sneak away to the pool at night for a quiet moment. Our media strategist happened to be there there too.

I had hired him to capture moments of joy during the experience—real, unfiltered joy. He was also taking lifestyle photos and headshots of all the women attending the retreat.

We started chatting. I told him about my usual discomfort with being in the spotlight and how I was proud I had improved a little and gotten more comfortable since the last retreat we worked together in Jamaica.

And then he stopped me with a question:

“Do you feel like you deserve it?”

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The question shocked me and hit me right in my chest.

“Of course,” I said.

…Right?

Didn’t I?

I didn’t think too much more about it at the time. But now almost three years later—sitting in my kitchen making dinner for the family, while my mind is swirling with ideas and 'to-dos" (as is often the case with entrepreneurs...can you relate?)—the question came back, and it hit harder.

Have I felt like I deserved it?

If I was being honest… no. Not fully. Not consistently.

And that was uncomfortable to admit.

I didn't shame myself about it. I just sat with it.

Why didn't I feel like I deserved it?

What was the “it” I thought was for everyone else but me?

Sometimes it’s the thing we’ve been working toward for years.

Sometimes it’s peace.

Sometimes it’s help.

Sometimes it’s being seen.

And here’s the tricky thing I've discovered (and have been actively, actively, actively working to confront every time it shows up in my mind and body)—if you don’t actually believe you deserve the thing you say you want, it’s going to be a lot harder to receive it, much less keep it.

Some Action Steps:

1. Define your “it.”

Action: Write down the thing you’ve been striving for that you’re not sure you fully believe you deserve. Be specific.

2. Trace where the doubt came from.

Action: Ask yourself, “When did I first start believing this wasn’t for me?” Sometimes naming the source is the first step to letting it go.

3. Build tiny proof points.

Action: Take one small, low-risk action this week that says to yourself, “I deserve this.” It could be hiring help for a task, investing in your growth, or letting yourself rest without guilt.

I don’t know everything, but here is something I now know for sure: the more I can own my experience and strength and identity and power and vision, the more aligned opportunities (and people) seem to show up.

Confidence and self-doubt aren't issues that everyone has. But I've been advising and supporting women and some of the most powerful leaders for a LONG time now, and it's a pattern that I see surface in a lot of people.

Just means we're not alone, and it's an opportunity for something to work on to help us get where we're trying to go faster :).

So, what about you? Do you feel like you deserve your “it”?

As always, let me know what resonated (or not). I read and do my best to respond to every email I get!

In solidarity,

Kamilah